Friday, December 11, 2009

An Awakening Failure


I have a confession to make...

I failed the second semester of my junior year of high school. 

I had chosen Ralph Waldo Emerson as a topic for my junior research paper, which was the majority of the semester's grade. I painstakingly created 25 note cards documenting my research and wrote my rough and final drafts. But when it cam time to turn in my paper, I had lost my note cards. And since I have been a procrastinator since birth, I didn't complete the assignment until the night before it was due. This meant that I didn't have time to re-make those note cards and received an F on my research paper and an F for the semester.


To this day I have no idea what I learned from that experience. As I am scouring my action research paper for APA errors, I am having flashbacks to that time of failure in my life. I still wonder why it wasn't enough she had already given me the points for completing the note cards on time earlier in the semester. I don't know if I ever told my parents the real reason I failed that assignment. I don't even remember if I had enough guts to ask for extended time to create a new set. I wonder now as I did then, what the educational value failing a student for losing a stack of cards was. I still enjoy Emerson's work and remember some of what I had learned from the research. But what I remember most is crying while digging through my closet, locker and car looking for those cards because I knew that without them I would fail. 


So I guess I did learn from that experience, although it wasn't what my teacher had intended. I still lose paper almost as soon as I put it down (so thank goodness I can take notes on my laptop.) And I still have no idea how to properly document my resources in MLA or APA. What I learned was that was one thing that I never wanted to do to my students, even though at the time I didn't know I was going to be an educator. All I knew was that I never wanted to another person to feel the way I had because of something I had done. 


Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

1 comment:

Jeff Yearout said...

I hear you!

Why do we in education seem to insist on all these "gotcha" graded items that really are a measure of production and not process. I also ponder the question with my middle school pre-engineering kids, and how exacting I will grade their dimensioned drawings done from CAD software. Considering they are all using Autodesk Inventor for the first time ever this semester, I don't feel it necessary to nitpick over every little trivial detail.

Sometimes the process and experience is more important and valuable than the product. But in our educational culture we are assessment obsessed.