Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

My Not-So-Grand Exit

Friday is my last day with the Wichita Public Schools after eleven years of service. (Notice the change in title for this blog...)

My path has been winding and often uncertain, but I love teaching and believe so strongly in the education of children that I've stayed in a district that has not always treated me well. As a para I was not generally treated as an equal because I didn't yet have a degree in education, but I continued on my path to complete my degree as I believed that teaching was the most important job I could do with my life. For my first year as a classroom teacher I was hired about a month into the school year and not given a mentor teacher to support me or even an updated copy of my school's policies and procedures to guide me. When schedules were built there were actually a few "veteran" teachers that were openly rude to me because I had taken all their "good kids." For my second year as a teacher I was told by the district that I would not be getting the annual raise that "all" teachers received because I technically hadn't taught a whole year since I was hired a month into the prior school year. But outside of that my second, third and fourth years of teaching went relatively well. I had an administrative staff that supported me as a teacher as well as a team of teachers that worked well together to help educate our children and I was able to teach in a problem-based environment and integrate almost all the technology I wanted into my instruction. Then I was given the opportunity to work at the district level as an instructional technology specialist. This was by far the best three years of my teaching career! I was completing my master's degree in educational technology and working with an amazing group of educators. Then the economy crashed and I lost my job. I was the last person hired by three days and after three years in this position, the district just cut my job without even trying to find a position for me that might have been open due to attrition. "Luckily," I was "allowed" to apply for jobs that were supposed to be listed as "in-district applicants only." They treated it like that was a really big deal - that  a person that had devoted themselves to the district for 8 years would be given such a privilege as to apply for jobs within the district before someone who had never worked a day within our district. But, I still felt that I could positively affect change in education, so I took a job as a data leader and site technology specialist at a middle school within our district. In this position I worked on a tightly-knit leadership team, collaborated with some really fantastic instructional coaches and really felt that I was helping to make some positive changes within the school structure. But at the end of that year the school was restructured due to not making 'Annual Yearly Progress' on the standardized tests (don't even get me started on this topic) and was told that my services were no longer desired at Jardine. At this point the district placed me at another school without interviewing me, without the principal meeting me and without asking me if I even wanted to teach there. But off to Truesdell I went, where I learned throughout the school year that after teaching adults for four years I just really no longer had the ability properly to teach 6th graders - they were just too young. So I was faced with a dilemma: stay at a school where I would likely not be happy or try to get a job at yet another school within the school district. I chose to apply for a job as a data leader at a high school and also as an educational technology specialist (again) as there were openings for my old position. Sadly, I was not even offered an interview for the technology specialist position because of my "instability within the district" and my "lack of recent classroom experience." But in the end, I was very excited to be offered the job as a data leader because not only would I be working with some amazing educational leaders that I had known from prior jobs within the district, but also because my last year of sixth graders from my first year teaching were to be seniors at this high school. It's been difficult adjusting to high school from dress code to procedures to general student behaviors. It has, however, been utterly wonderful seeing my little sixth graders approach adulthood! 

But now, I have been offered a job at Cargill doing IT work (in other words utilizing the master's degree which I worked so hard to obtain) and I can't turn it down. Why? In a word: stability. The education system seems to be moving in a direction that goes against my core beliefs as a teacher. We're emphasizing test scores rather than creative, critical thinking skills. We're de-emphasizing technology integration in a time where almost everyone seems to have a computer in their pocket at all times. We're pushing all of our students to the middle, stifling creativity and we're not graduating any more students that when I was high school. Oh, and did I mention that for the last four years I have made less money than the year prior and each Spring have had to worry if my job would be cut again?

So it is with highly mixed emotions that I leave the district in two days. One minute I'm excited for the new opportunity in my life and the next I feel like a complete sell-out for leaving education. Last week I had to leave a pep assembly twice to cry because I was watching "my kids" perform for the last time. I've worked with some really amazing and passionate people and even more importantly, I have been a part of some really great kids' lives. I know that this is the right move for me and my family and still hope to teach some adjunct college courses so that I can continue to impact students, but I am quite sure I'll shed more tears over the next few weeks as I come to the final realization that I will no longer be able to introduce myself as a "teacher." 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

"Those Schools"

I work at one of "those schools." You know "the ones" I mean. It's a school that when I tell people (teachers or not) where I work the response is usually "Oh, sorry to hear that" or "Man, I bet that's no fun" or some other sentiment along those lines. In fact, I've spent my entire teaching career in "those schools." My daughters have gone to "the best schools" in our district due to where we live and I'm telling you right now I am almost certain I wouldn't be able to work in any one of them day in and day out. I absolutely love working at "one of those schools!" Yes, many of my students' families fall below the poverty line. And yes, many of our students' parents didn't read to them much (if at all) when they were little. And yes, there is a large portion of our student population that struggle to read because not only is English not their first language, but they aren't literate in their native language either. Fights happen here (as in all schools), we fight the daily battle of sagging pants and too-short shorts (with students and their parents who don't think it's a big deal), students cuss at me because I ask them to wear their IDs or walk on the right side of the hallway and the list goes on and on. 

BUT, I also get to be part of a safe, consistent and caring part of our students' lives. Yes, they know I'm going to be there every day "bugging" them to follow the rules, but at the same when I'm gone they notice - if only because they were able to slip through my little section of the hallway without following expectations. At the beginning of the year there were a number of students that were excited that I remembered them from middle school, were soon grumpy that I remembered them and still held high expectations of them but we've now fallen back into the comfortable groove...they usually follow expectations but when they don't they don't get upset with me because they know I'm consistent. A number of my former middle school students have had babies in the years since I had them in class and but told me that they're working hard to finish school AND be a good parent because they remember that I showed them that it can be done by sharing with them my own personal experiences. 

So really what I'm trying to get at is that I feel sorry for those that don't see my job a desirable. I'm sad that not everyone gets to see kids overcome adversity the way I do. They'll never know the joy of having a student that is currently homeless walk into school every day to learn. A few weeks ago I was able to connect with a student that is currently in foster care herself whose infant had been taken away from her by SRS. She now comes to see me every day with updates not only on her family situation, but also how her classes are going. So many people will never be able to see the joy in all the things that I get to experience every day and I am so lucky to be able to do so.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Changing the World

I've had a crazy semester (thus the non-posting by Ms. M) but as it comes to a close I  inevitably reflect on my experiences, both with others and on my own. This is just a random collection of thoughts I've had in the last week or two.
  • I still truly believe that teaching is the most important career (aside from being a parent) that anyone could choose to pursue. I love kids and am amazed on a daily basis by their perspectives on life - positive or otherwise. I tell my students that I change the world every day, as everything that happens in my classroom impacts them in some way and they will take that with them when they leave me. Thus, it is my goal to change the world in a positive way as much as I possibly can. Every day has to be a fresh start for every child that walks into my room, no matter what has happened in the past.
  • I have to realize that I have no control over what happens in classrooms that aren't mine and that the best way to help students overcome adversity is to be a positive role model and support them even when they don't think they want or need it. Dwelling on negativity not only doesn't help anyone, it becomes a disease that will infect my classroom if I allow it. Not only do I need to give my students a fresh start every day, I need to allow myself that same privilege. Every morning I need to start over, forgetting whatever slip-ups I may have had. No one is perfect, so I should not expect perfection from myself. To be human is a beautiful thing - imperfections and all.
  • It's time I start being an advocate again for technology integration and Project-based Learning. With changing schools and jobs this year I have let that slide, and it is unacceptable. I will start blogging again, I will start posting student projects to my class website and I will start offering to host PLCs in these areas. They are things which I truly believe will impact positive change in education (and face it, our education system is seriously damaged right now) and if I want it to change I've got to do my part to change it. Someone's got to be an impetus for change, why can't it be me?
I am incredibly grateful for my small collection of friends that have helped me through this very challenging semester and am going to try from this point forward to be the positive influence in the lives of both students and teachers that I know is needed. I can not control what others do, but I can control what I do and hope that it impacts others in a beneficial way. 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Back to My Roots (again)


This year has been all about adapting to change for me. My position was cut at the end of the school year last year due to budget cuts so I went on the job hunt and found a science teaching position at Jardine to move into this year. Well long story short I ended up getting moved into the assessment coordinator and site technology specialist position before the school year ever even got started. Then to make an even longer story short, there ended up not being a coordinator for the assessment coordinators this year, so I kind of had to start “winging it” from the get go. No training or PD available left me feeling like I was a day late and a dollar short pretty much all year but I do feel like I’ve kept my head above water most of the time. But to add to all of this, Jardine is going through restructuring this year due to not making AYP for a number of years. (Although this year’s scores look like we will make it this year – yea!) We’ll have a new principal next year and almost 50% of the staff will not be returning, including me. So now I wait to find out where I’ll be placed next year. This means I’m heading “back to my roots” by teaching kids next year. I’m getting pretty excited about it as I feel that I have learned so much in the last four years in the various roles I’ve filled (technology integration specialist, assessment coordinator, DEN Leadership Council member, site technology specialist, Glogster EDU embassador and others) that I will be such a better teacher than I was. It will be really great to share first hand all the new knowledge I’ve gained directly with students to see their reactions and growth for myself.